You might be asking, where have I been? I guess I have been told once or twice priorities continually change as a husband and father. It’s actually quite comical because when I first started this, I thought I had to make sure I was putting out something fresh every week. I was really trying to be relevant.
But, then it became every other week.
Then every month.
Then every quarter.
Finally, please God, not annually.
But all in all, the last year and a half has been nothing short of a blur for my wife and I, as well as our children as we now have four little toddlers. More than ever, I have learned how great my priorities are for my wife and my children, as well as my church. And unfortunately, that means the blog doesn’t get all the love it once did, however that doesn’t mean it goes without thought, prayer, or desire. That’s why I’m here, writing this draft from the stool as I wait to go home from work on a Sunday afternoon as this may be my only time to write this week.
As many of you out there may already know, Pastor Tim Keller passed away recently on the nineteenth of May. His passing didn’t come as a major surprise as he has been suffering for a few years now (not that it makes it any easier). I myself have never been exposed a ton to his works or sermons, nonetheless, I have a tremendous amount of respect for the man in Pastor.
That being said, a day prior to Pastor Keller’s death, another pastor that I have been exposed to a bit more through watching Ligonier Conference videos, unexpectedly died in a motor vehicle accident. Most Christians may not even know the name Harry Reeder. He’s not flashy, he’s not as well known – at least not to those outside of the nerdy theological world, but the man was a stalwart of faith, and seemed to be an even more stalwart of a man in a time where SOLID men are seldom found. Role models, men that children and look up to, men that husbands and fathers glean from. Harry Reeder seemed like he was one of those men. And the truth of the matter is, it was reading about his death and aftermath where I noticed something said about him that made me wonder: what is the greatest compliment I could ever receive as a man?
No, I’m not going to tell you right now you’ll have to keep reading.
Recently, I had made the boneheaded decision to take on a hefty renovation project with four children five and under, working full-time hours which keep me outside of our home, fairly extensively, and to top it off, saying I would get it done in two weekends. Well needless to say, I’m going on my third weekend. And that is only by the grace of God that I have a friend, “Jake Mario”, as my children call him, whom has so selflessly helped me.
I guess that’s just how it goes at times, and I believe that is one tragic flaw of not just me, but of all men — that we overestimate what we can do, and underestimate the sacrifice in which costs to get it done. A lot of times we have our eyes set on the wrong objective. We’re looking at the end product, the finished design, but we don’t look or don’t understand what it will take to get there and the risks involved in doing so.
It is in this project, I believe God has allowed me to see some unknown abilities that I have in working with my hands that I never had the chance to develop as a younger boy and younger adult. That being said, more than these unknown abilities, the one thing that I have seen more than anything is just how selfish I really am.
There in lies the motive behind the question, what is the greatest compliment a man could ever receive?
I firmly believe that God has gifted man to be leaders, with an innate ability that has been woven into the very fibers of our DNA by none other than God himself. Some of us feel like visionaries, builders, entrepreneurs; unfortunately, sometimes this stems from our selfish desire to be king of our lives rather than God glorifying in those talents.
My point in saying all this is that we have a desire to be recognized for the things that we’ve done, the things that we’ve built, or in my case the deck that I have to demoed and really nice boards.
Doing a project like this, as I have confessed to some of my friends has sent me into a bit of a funk. Unfortunately, it is even led me to take things out on my family because I can’t handle the fact that God has called me to other things, rather than working with my hands full-time. I know it sounds very silly to be acting like a child over it but there is something fulfilling about seeing a physical dream. You have a vision come to life.
However, this is where we’re looking at the wrong vision and dream. I have learned a hard lesson that it is not the greatest compliment to be told that I’m a skillful hard laborer, or that I’m crafty, or that my work looks beautiful. The greatest compliment I could ever receive, and I hope I don’t receive until I’m long gone, is that I was an absolute oak of a man – the same compliment, that a friend and colleague said of Dr. Harry Reeder.
I was reading a article in which many of his children, and his surviving widow spoke of him. Throughout the entire read, it seemed as if all they could do was glow about his life, and more importantly, his love for Jesus Christ. There is actually only one thing that they said about his life, outside of Jesus, and that was that he was a fan of military history. I don’t know that he was a hobbyist, if you didn’t know him personally, what you would take away from this man’s remembrance wasn’t that he was a scratch golfer. It wasn’t that he framed an entire shed in an afternoon. It wasn’t that he was an avid fisherman, writer, etc. Moreover, it’s not that hobbies are inherently a bad thing. It’s just the only thing in this life that will ever matter is what we did for Jesus Christ, and how that shaped our wives and children and their lives, and those around us.
Reading this article has left me in tears; it has caused some sober reflection on the last month or so of my family’s life. But because of Jesus and the gospel I’m hopeful. I feel like this has left me, pondering many questions about my life, and hopefully questions that we as men will all be asking ourselves, but mainly what is the measure of a man? Are we building our own kingdoms and visions? Is the man who’s heart is after the Lord or dream and vision? Or is it a man after an early retirement? Are we willing to allow the Lord to work in our lives, even when we don’t like it, or see the point of what he’s doing, or even understand it for that matter?
I’ve come to learn that, my wife, my children, my friends, and my church – we don’t need another contractor or skilled man, they just need a Ben Tubert to be a man of the strongest oak. Like a tree that, as Psalm 1 says:
Psalm 1:3
[3] He is like a tree
planted by streams of water
that yields its fruit in its season,
and its leaf does not wither.
In all that he does, he prospers.
The world doesn’t need more Harry Reeders, Tim Kellers, or John Pipers – God needs men, to just be solid men, whom lay down their lives for HIS glory alone, not theirs. If just attempt to do this, we will still see change given the state of our world. But, if we succeed and make it happen, I believe our communities and churches will become forests of oak trees.
The Fire & The Flood 