I thought I would be writing this one years from now…
Last Monday morning at 3:45 am, my father passed away and went home to our savior, Jesus Christ.
It still feels surreal. I’ve said how the Lord prepared me in the days leading up to his death that it was coming but no matter how prepared one might be, death still hurts. The good news is that because of Jesus Christ it truly has lost its sting.
I’m not here to gab about my dad, I’m going to attach the eulogy I wrote for him but the truth is, this is all for Christ. Because it’s only because of Christ I stand.
When faced with the pain of not really being able to say goodbye or work out differences that might have been between two people, the water certainly gets murky and your faith is tested. On one hand, there is the pain of knowing that I missed his call because I was putting my kids to bed. On the other hand, there is the joy of knowing he is now in no suffering and emotionally whole.
My Father lived a life where he struggled to reconcile his old life and his new life in Christ. As much as he knew of Christ’s love, it seemed like it was never enough to truly overcome the whispers of the enemy. That is why I rejoice at the thought that the Good Shepherd came to take him home and spare him of all the physical suffering that was to come with some of his new prognoses.
But what about a 36 year old husband, father of four kids seven and younger, friend, church servant, now left to figure out life’s maze with no father here to give counsel? To talk when you’re stressed?
Without Jesus, these are questions that mind can’t handle; they keep one up at night. The answer though is found in Ephesians 2:
4 But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, 5 even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— 6 and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7 so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus (Ephesians 2:4–7, ESV).
BUT GOD.
The Good Shepherd whose love leaves the 99 to find the one, who is ever present and will not abandon His children, and as John 6:39 shows us that will not lose ONE of those given to Him by the Father.
I write these things because I want to encourage others who, like me, may feel alone at times and miss a fathers love, that you already have all of the Father’s love in heaven and although He can’t speak back to you directly, He speaks through His word. He comforts through His word, and He never disappoints. He still answers prayers. He still does miracles.
His love never fails.
My guy Shai Linne, the GREATEST hip-hop artist alive PERIOD, wrote a song called Immutable that encouraged me in my dad’s final days. It’s a reminder of Gods unfailing love through the fact that He never changes and has never changed since the beginning of time. Check it out. You won’t be disappointed.
I thank God that through His son I’ll always have my Father and never be alone.
See you in heaven, MDT. I love you, dad.
Thank you for all the ways you love me and don’t leave me to myself, I love you, Father.
God Bless You all,
BMT
Thank you all for being here with us this morning. I’d like to take a minute and start by just recognizing a few people on behalf of my mother and myself.
I want to thank Pastor Michael & Melissa Servello, Pastor Sam & Sandra Luce, Pastor Jim & Lindsay Synakowski, and Pastor Scott & Wendy Paul, for being there for our family as we have endured this trial in it’s early stages. Also, to not just the rest of the Redeemer staff, but our entire church family. We have been so blessed and could not be standing here this strong without all of you.
I’d also like to thank our family, both sides, for all you have done to support us and make us feel at ease in a time where nothing has completely seemed right. I’d like to also recognize many family members who have come in from not just out of town, but out of state and quite a ways away to be honest – thank you.
Lastly, I’d like to thank my wife. I am without words for what you’ve done for me and my mother. I know you don’t think anything of it but as I always joke, you deserve a trip to Hawaii. I think now the destination has changed to Fiji.
The truth of it is that I have been preparing for this moment since I was in High School. Those of you who know me know that I’m a pretty type a person and I feel like I was greatly impacted by my cousin Shawn having to deliver a Eulogy at my Uncle’s funeral. I remember relating as an only child thinking ‘how am I going to do that?’ For years it was something that got me emotional and fearful, but now here we are and there of course is sorrow, but it is as my oldest son has coined “hapsad”.
Many of you know my father, and many of you know our family. I don’t need to speak of all his traits or a million memories. But there are two things that I feel are important to share in light of celebrating his life today. One is a lesson of fatherly love and generosity that he taught me, the next is a lesson of fatherly love that God our father taught me and I pray he shows that to you all today through my words, and our Pastor’s words in a few moments.
I have a lot of memories of my dad and I could go on for awhile speaking of things he taught me like work ethic, compassion, etc. One thing I want to highlight was how my father was a man who had a heart for those in need. He was always looking for ways to help other people. I remember being young at our church, there was a boy who’s family had little to nothing at all. My father would add to our own grocery bill every week to buy groceries for the family; and after he found out that the child wasn’t getting enough of the food – he started finding ways to intervene. I believe the Lord gifted by father with a heavenly dose of generosity. Most people, when they grow up not having much don’t want to share. They want to keep it for themselves, not him though. That wasn’t the way he was.
When I was in between 8th and 9th grade, one of my close friends in junior high had to have a major surgery that would not just impact him, but basically ruin his summer. Enter Mark D. Tubert. Growing up, I was a diehard Cleveland Indians fan. David Justice, Kenny Lofton, Sandy Alomar Jr., Omar Vizquel, Jim Thome, Jaret Wright, I knew them all. For whatever it was, as an Indians fan, there was also something just so special about their ballpark – “The Jake”. Whether it was the darker color of the grass and the “gray” dirt of the 90s, to the jagged edges of the Restaurant in Left Field that I always dreamt of eating at. The Jake was just beyond special to every tribe fan.
Because of my passion and the 1997 World Series leaving a painstaking hole in my heart for years, my father had this deep, deep, deep desire to allow me to see the jake in person. We started talking about it and looked on the calendar to see when we could go. There it was, a 3 game set in August. The Tribe vs. The LA Angels. Once the weekend was set, my father took it a step further and wanted me to ask my friend’s parents if we could take him with us. That conversation I think was funny because they didn’t think he even liked baseball, but they relented and allowed him to join us on our journey to “The Land.”
The truth is, I have so many memories of that weekend: the fireworks after the night game on Sat night, the leather coats he bought us in 90 degree heat and that we wore proudly, the way he found where the parking lot for the players were and took us with enough time to have 23 out 25 players on the roster sign my hat. The way he let us ride in the car on the floor of the van not buckled in watching LOTR and playing playstation on my friend’s portable TV — sorry Mom, we turned out fine. The way he took us to the R & R HOF without concern for money or the way he upgraded our seats at the last game to be 10 rows behind home plate. I could go on and on.
The memory though that is most vivid to me, is the way Friday night as we walked around Cleveland after getting Pizza, is the way he boxed up our left overs and wrote a note on a napkin about Jesus and left it for a homeless person on the street for when they woke up. It rocked me, and it certainly rocked my friend. I feel that my heart for evangelism certainly came from him. Overall from that weekend, little did my Dad know that my friend and his own dad were going through a bit of a rough patch connecting and that trip sparked a bond between them of baseball that lasted well through high school. My father’s ministry to the brokenhearted was that out of fatherly love. I see that in my own life and I’m truly thankful to him for it.
Lastly, I mentioned wanting to share on a lesson of fatherly love from the Father of Love himself. In my fathers last bit of time on this earth, it was a time of pain and suffering in many ways. Just so you all are aware, the prognosis he received when he finally relented and went to the hospital was not great at all. The truth is, the Lord had been preparing me for days prior and telling me, this was going to be it and I needed to be ready. I think the truth of the matter is, my father prayed that he would be spared of more suffering and would spare us of the same. We can look at this situation with tears and pain because of the fact that he’s gone, but the real thing is that right now — he is WHOLE and without any suffering and the fact is that Christ already took his suffering so that he didn’t have to. He was spared.
Because of my God-son, my kids have gotten into Christian Hip-Hop a bit and it’s funny because their taste is that of my God sons, not mine. I personally think Shai Linne is not just the greatest Christian hip hop artist, but one of if not the greatest of all time. I thank God for his music because days before my father’s passing, I heard a song that I hadn’t ever heard before. It is called Immutable. The point that I believe Shai is making is that in trying to describe God, how can one describe someone who before the beginning of time and all through history as we know it, has NEVER changed. We change a million times a day.
God himself caused me to hear that song in advance of one of the hardest moments of my family’s life because he wanted to the truth of him to be acknowledged out of fatherly love — he still hasn’t changed. He’s still so so good.
I leave you by reading this:
“I was thinkin’ just the other day
How You reign supreme by far
Not just because of what You do
But simply because of who You are
There’s none like you in existence
You are God and You need no assistance
Even though we show you resistance
You sent Jesus to close the distance
That existed between God and man
According to Your sovereign plan
We change many times in one life span
I’ve changed even since this song began
Lord, I’m so glad that you’re not like us
All that You do will certainly last
You are the Rock that we can trust
Shows us back in eternity past”
He was there from the beginning, He is there until the end, because He created it all and is Sovereign over it all. I’m not asking you not to grieve my father’s passing — I am asking you to view it differently and see it through the lens of a great God who did not spare his own son, so that he might spare us if we surrender ourselves to his Lordship of our life, in his divine plan and goodness.
Thank you for coming and God bless you all.
The Fire & The Flood 