I have always had an interest in photography since I was a little child. I think it comes from the fact that it runs in my family down the line – my father at one point was a freelance photographer and my mother always had a burning passion for it. For whatever reason though, I’m boring. My wife and my “sister” consistently call me an old man and jeer me on by the fact that I am from a different age.
The truth is I certainly don’t feel 37 at times. My knees will definitely corroborate that charge, especially the morning after one too many muffins. Truthfully speaking however, since my father unexpectedly left this earth to go to paradise in May – I have been on quite the journey spiritually. I could never have expected the highs and lows that I would experience.
I’ve always prided myself on — wrongly might I add — on being more mature and understanding. But this morning in my devotional time there was a verse in 1 Chronicles 29 where David is referring to the incoming King Solomon as young and inexperienced. I felt like my Heavenly Father was saying that lovingly to me as well referring to these past few months of my life.
I would like to share a verse with you, reader.
“and to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one.” – 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 ESV
I want to share a thought I believe the Lord has given me from a conversation I was having with a dear friend of mine in Florida. I believe the Lord gave me a stark moment of reproof through this verse for my own life and I just believe that in the way our world is going, if one more person could be impacted by it — to God be the glory.
I mentioned this journey that I’ve been on since May earlier — I think the best way to summarize it is by titling it a quest of self discovery. Who am I? What do I want out of my life? Who am I showing myself to be to my family and those around me?
I think death produces a natural introspective study and sometimes causes us to start going down the YOLO or Bucket List type of living. I think that there is a flaw in the system of the “live life to the fullest” mantra because it is a quest of never being fulfilled and satisfied in the moment. Maybe that’s not the case for all people, but for me I see it as a never ending pursuit of momentary bliss.
The changes and poking and prodding that I felt from the Lord in my life over these last few months is that for a man who prides himself on being intentional, I was not actually BEING intentional. Years ago, I remember listening to an audiobook of J.C. Ryle’s work The True Christian. It was originally titled The Christian Race and published 1900-1901. There is a chapter in that book in which described time as a redeemable currency, one that which the Christian should be making the most of — not in the sense of experience.
I look at my father’s death and to me it’s a tragedy. The truth is, not because he died, but because of time wasted. I have been through a lot of highs and lows and had to spend time this fall REALLY processing out emotions and processing out hurts that I have held on to. I am blessed to have had a Pastor let me cry in his arms and help me forgive my dad. This has led me to live in a way that I now think of him so fondly and miss him deeply. That is why I’m not saying time wasted in a way of anger, sarcasm, or being disgruntled — I’m saying it as a challenge for those of us here. Me most of all.
I have a wife and four children aged 8, 6, 5, and 4. I have been challenged in ways I could not have imagined by all of them and I have realized over the last 6 months just how much they are my first ministry. If I cannot pastor them well, I do not belong pastoring anyone else. This last season has led me to see the way that our phones and technology have such a crimping effect on the way we live our lives. What was promised to be life changing technology has only become a destructive force in many lives.
So we have started with photography and Ansel Adams, mentioned a bible verse, talked about emotions, and now expressed disdain for technology. You’re probably wondering where I’m going and how does this all come together?
I have always been someone who was more intense and I struggle to just “go with the flow”. It’s a gift but mostly a flaw and can lead to burnout quick when not resting in Christ and His finished work. That being said, I believe that the Lord was showing me through this season that I was missing the mark one my focus and attention. For someone who is normally up by 5 every morning, I checked the box on devotional time but it wasn’t always fruitful.
See, Ansel Adams was not a Christian and didn’t acknowledge Jesus Christ. Truth is, he is probably separated from God’s presence right now. That is sad to me and should be for all of us. One thing that he did get right was by seeing the world as a majestic beauty. Adams also pointed us to the fact that colors take away from what is really going on — black and white captures the emotion of the photo.
See, as a committed reformed Protestant I will do all I can to make sure that I never take scripture out of context. In a conversation that I mentioned above, we were discussing distractions in life. I believe that there is a serious warning for today that I know that God spoke to me through that passage in 1 Thessalonians. As men, we are to aspire to lead a quiet life (no distractions, no white noise) and work with our hands (put forth effort, be invested).
I’m a Pharmacist by trade and for years I always look at that verse and get salty inside that I’m a nerd who counts by 5’s for a living instead of a mechanic or contractor getting filthy every day. Truth is I believe that God showed me that in the modern era it’s not a prospect or admonition to go into the trades but more of a warning that we are out of control with distractions in life. I stumbled upon the Bullet Journal and a video of how the creator changed his phone to make it a tool. I’d encourage you to check it out on YouTube or click this link here.
The thing is, and I end with this, the video did not change my life. I won’t be found on YouTube making a video with a clickbait title saying how I got my life back. Scripture did however change my life and show me what my task is. A video helped me get there.
Yes, my screen time has drastically improved. No, I’m not reaching for my phone to look something up all the time now. But why?
Because Paul’s words to the church hit my heart and I pray they hit all of ours that our life is meant for more than DIY Videos on YouTube or Sports or whatever your interests are. There are details in this life that Christ wants us to see and capture moments of time with our loved ones that isn’t just an experience — it’s every day life. Being present in every moment. Living life in black and white rather than shiny bright colors.
God bless you all, BMT.
The Fire & The Flood 